self love

Obstacles to Self-Love and What to Do About them

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When you are trying to practice self-love, you’re going to run into a few obstacles along the way. There are myths that self-love is being selfish. Let’s look at the actual meaning of these two words.


According to Merriam-Webster and googling the word “selfish” means a person that lacks any consideration for others, they are primarily concerned with their own interests, benefits, profits, or pleasure.


Now let’s look at the meaning of “self-love”. When I googled “what is the meaning of self-love”, this was the result I found: regard for one’s being and happiness, a state of appreciation to oneself.


Now that we know the difference between being selfish and the meaning of self-love, I put them using a format of “Do’s and Don’ts”.  Let’s look at the list below for the most common obstacles people face when trying to practice more self-love.


Don’t – Surrounded by Toxic People


A major obstacle to self-love is toxic people. If you are surrounded by people who drain your energy and have a negative outlook, you’re going to struggle to practice self-love. After all, you’ll struggle to love yourself if you are surrounded by people who make you feel bad.


Have you ever stepped into a room full of people and you felt a “bad energy”? You feel negative energy, you know, suddenly it feels somber. I feel these things when I walk into a room. I feel the energy of that room. So, I turn around and leave.


So, if you have relationships which cause you more misery than happiness, now is the time to start taking a step back and focusing on healthier, happier relationships.


Do! Be Around Happy Positive People


Surround yourself with positive, healthy relationships. The people around you should lift you up and make you feel positively about yourself. Let go of the people that are not affecting you in a positive happy way and the energy around you will feel happier too.


Don’t – Feel Guilt and Selfishness


Another big barrier to practicing self-love is feelings of guilt and selfishness. It is common to feel like self-love is selfish. This can lead to feelings of guilt when you attempt to focus more on yourself. You need to understand the importance of self-love. It certainly isn’t selfish so you absolutely should not feel guilty for embracing love yourself.


Do! Embrace Yourself


Self-love is appreciating YOU. You need to take care of your body and your mind. It isn’t just a luxury, it’s a necessity for your health and well-being. Self-love isn’t just about treating yourself; it is about making sure you are fulfilling your needs. For example, if you want to lose weight, indulging in junk food isn’t going to help, even though it might be bringing temporary joy. Instead, a healthier diet and exercise routine is considered a form of self-love as it helps you to become healthier and fulfills the body’s needs. Self love is self-care to promote your well-being, your spiritual growth so you can feel fulfilled with happiness, joy, and peace within.


Don’t – Expect to be Perfect


Perfectionism is a major obstacle to self-love. While a little perfectionism can be a good thing, especially in business, it can also lead to disappointment, frustration, and unhappiness.  When you feel like everything must be perfect, you aren’t going to be happy when you fall short.


Do! – Accept Minor Imperfections


So, try and let go of your need to be perfect. Understand what draws your perfectionism and identify your triggers. Remember, nobody is perfect, not even you! It’s okay, let it be. I don’t know any human being that is perfect, do you?  They’re not perfect either so relax and accept any imperfections.  Sometimes, it helps for me to stop and say to myself, “so what”, and somehow this works for me.  No one will judge you for any imperfections.


Understanding Self-Love


Finally, another barrier is not understanding how to love yourself. Many people don’t fully understand what self-love means. They mistakenly think it is about doing things you want to do, rather than what you need.


Being aware, you’ll be able to figure out how to overcome them if they do arise. Finding people, you trust and who builds your confidence and find joy is a big part of being able to practice self-love. So, don’t forget to be your own personal cheerleader too.


If you need clarity on self-love or reassurance to accept who you are and how to love yourself, schedule a call with me and let’s talk about this. Or click on my Contact page and leave me a message or comment. Thanks!

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